Pure Frustration

Alright I give up. Today is one of those days. A day where you hate every pregnant woman walking. (Jealousy) Absolutely. I am frustrated for the simple fact that we have trying for over a year (mind you my levels have not even come down to try) and experienced several miscarriages. I just ask why. I am still in late 20's shouldn't be that difficult but it is. I am overjoyed for my close friends who now are on their 2nd, 3rd or 4th. I think they are capable of getting pregnant just by talking to their husband where as I (don't get me wrong I love my better half) am stuck trying and trying to discover the ultimate solution. I say that with love but at the same time you start to ask yourself why me? why now? Perhaps we could fiddle with my hormones when I start experiencing menopause rather than when we are trying to conceive. Like when the toilet requires the higher adapter . Ugh. Just saying. Perhaps I just need to vent and communicate with someone who is on the same page or shall I say situation rather than with people who are able to experience the joys of life and brilliance of introducing a new life to this world. Someone who relates with the issues, the drama, the headaches and the overall tiresome struggle. And yes, I am strumming my violin heavily today as I believe it suits the overall mood. Perhaps a thunderstorm and heavy blizzard would bring joy to the mood as well. But I'd rather not be the cause of a state of emergency. I digress. I will continue with my happy thoughts notation. (where ever that may be)