Wednesday, January 27, 2010

the relationship blunder

Alright we all know that your relationship suffers when you are trying to get pregnant and nothing is working. Even though you have the "supportive conversation" with your hubby and you both try and focus on the positive-you can't. You have that unspeakable thought, what if it doesn't work again. Does this mean that we aren't going to be able to make this relationship work and perhaps I should start following other goals or adventures I thought I would achieve or conquer if I didn't have the family? I asked myself this time and time again. If we don't have children what is going to make us happy. Could we try I.F. and if that doesn't work, what? The questions could keep coming and the answers or shall I say probability is something that I continuously think of. What if? What now? Who has had a positive outcome and how much are we willing to do and the financial aspect (is it something we can afford). I know I sound selfish at times and I hate that too. I think about the fact that we could adopt but then I also want a baby of our own. I guess in some ways I want to know how our child would look and what characteristics would be past on. I just want to enjoy a pregnancy where I am not concerned about whether I am going to make it through the first trimester. Child birth is the least of my worries at this point.

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